Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
