is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
