Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
