I accidentally burped into my bong.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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