do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Someone shit on the floor
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
