How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
