I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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