I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
