Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize