What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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