Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?