i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!