I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life