I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic