i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
