she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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