I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize