Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
