what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
