I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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