omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
