i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
