whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
