Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
