Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
