we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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