Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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