Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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