It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
