She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
