i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
