I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
