Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
nutella sex= disaster
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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