Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize