He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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