so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
