I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
