tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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