weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize