I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
