You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
