you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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