My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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