Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
my poor anus
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
