My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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