forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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