He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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