your room smells of hookers.
And success
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
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#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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