jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
