do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
