So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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