So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
