Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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