I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
