did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
