like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
