party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
