I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
