dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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