Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
