Im at strip club and am horny
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
