It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
